"Are you crazy, it's four o'clock in the morning!" I screamed.
"No I am not crazy, you just need to get up so when can catch our plane to Florida!" My mother exclaimed.
"Okay" I said quietly.
I got up to get ready and help my parents pack up to the car. My little sister was still sleeping because my parents let her sleep but not me I guess. We packed up the car, woke up my sister and left for the airport. We got to the airport checked in, got on our plane and left for our family vacation to Orlando, Florida.
We got to Florida and went to our hotel. It was the biggest hotel I have ever been in! It had the biggest pool, the biggest rooms, and the best arcade.
TO BE CONTINUED!
I think you have a pretty good story, but its kind of rushed. You just keep saying what happens next and then what happens after that and then what happens after that. Also, there is a lack of voice, no offense. You should try imagining yourself in that situation and write/ type what you would be feeling in that situation.
ReplyDeleteOh that sounds like a fun hotel to visit! I want to go there.
ReplyDelete